You are probably surprised at hearing from me. I am Frodo Baggins, a hobbit of the Shire, adoptive son of Bilbo Baggins, a celebrated TRAVELER and ADVENTURER.
Among the many valuable objects bequeathed to me by Mr Baggins on the occasional of his departure is a MAGICAL RING, having the property of making its wearer invisible. Research conducted by my associate, Gandalf the Grey, has disclosed that this ring was previously the property of one Sauron of Mordor, a DARK LORD, and that the ring had been taken from him and subsequently LOST by Isildur of Gondor. Please see this news item at http://news.bbc.co.uk/... concerning the MUTILATION of Mr Sauron and subsequent DEATH of Mr Isildur.
I need your assistance in exporting this RING from the Shire and delivering it to the Cracks of Doom, Mordor. In exchange for your kindly cooperation in this matter, I will be pleased to pay you a FEE amounting to 10% of my uncle's wealth, currently valued at 1,000,000 (ONE MILLION) Gondorian gold coins.
I must impress on you the need to treat this matter in the strictest CONFIDENCE, as any disclosure could result in unwanted attention from the UNDEAD SERVANTS of Sauron known as ringwraiths.
I remain, yours etc.
F. Baggins, Bag End, Hobbiton, The Shire.
hobbit trickery - fortunately Bilbo is a THIEF